I've Got You Read online

  “I’m good, but thanks.” I had no plans to see Davis again. Hell, I still didn’t know if I’d be staying in town, but that pull, that irritating niggle to stay put was still there, ruling me.

  Carter shrugged. “Okay, but….” He trailed off, wide-eyed and amused, just waiting for me to take the bait.

  It worked. Bastard. “But?”

  “Well,” he leaned in as though conspiring, placing his mug down, “he keeps doing this pause, eyes drifting off into the distance thing. Plus,” he continued when I threw him a confused look, “in his daze, he keeps rubbing his bottom lip.” He sat back, preening, as though totally satisfied with his weird observation.

  I scrunched my brows. “That’s your big buildup?”

  A loud sigh escaped from his mouth. “This is huge.”

  “It is?” I was confused as hell.

  He nodded. “Yep.”

  I stared at him dumbfounded.

  Once again, Carter sighed loudly. “Yes, it’s huge. Davis never gets that dreamy look. And that whole touching the lip thing is classic ‘I’m thinking of a hot guy’s tongue in my mouth’ thing.” He shook his head. “Are you really this naïve?”

  Apparently, I was.

  The clearing of his throat brought my attention back to him. “So…?”

  “So?”

  “Was that your first, you know, real kiss?”

  I blanched, then tightened my jaw. This was far too gossipy, too personal for me.

  “It’s okay.” Carter offered me a small smile. “I shouldn’t have asked. But…” Yeah, he really couldn’t help himself. “…you know, if you ever want to ask anything, chat about anything, you can… with me.”

  Wide-eyed, I stared at him, overwhelmed by his offer and the fact he was so nice to me. I didn’t deserve nice. I didn’t deserve understanding. Unable to answer, I nodded.

  He smiled and took another sip of his coffee. The whole time, his gaze remained on me, and I fought hard not to squirm under his scrutiny. I remembered back to a time when life was simpler. There was just me, friends I kept at a distance and who didn’t know the real me, and a family whose rule was absolute. It wasn’t perfect, but I’d trained myself from such an early age to know how to behave, how to act, how to hide. Fear had ruled me, similar to the driving emotion that did so today. It had been a miserable existence, but undoubtedly easier in day-to-day survival.

  As I looked at Carter, I stifled a groan. My life was definitely no longer simple. “What?” I dared ask, knowing he was itching to carry on speaking.

  “Have you spoken to Denver?”

  I shook my head. “No.” I didn’t tell him that I hadn’t returned any of his calls.

  “But he’s called you, right?” Carter continued. I gave him a reluctant nod. “Perhaps you need to pick up?”

  I held back rolling my eyes and the slip of “No shit, Sherlock,” that desperately wanted to escape. With his bright eager eyes still peering at me, I finally responded, “I will. Just figuring out my next move.”

  His lips pursed at that and his nose scrunched. After a moment, he took a gulp of coffee and then seemed set for battle as he placed his mug firmly down and straightened up. “I think there’s a lot here on offer for you, and leaving seems a little going backward considering everything that’s happened.” He paused a moment as if waiting for a reaction. When I didn’t speak, he sighed. “Listen, I know you’ve been through so much, and to be honest, I have no idea what you’re going through, but please don’t make a decision just yet.”

  I huffed out a breath and leaned my head back. He was right, but I was so over thinking about this shit and overthinking everything.

  “So stay, at least for a little while. Maybe give yourself another couple of months at least.”

  “I’ll think about it.” It was all I’d been doing anyway, so giving him this wasn’t a big deal.

  Carter smiled in victory. “And pick up the phone next time Denver calls. Okay?”

  I gave him a noncommittal hum, not quite sure I was there yet. My godfather was actually a decent guy. It always surprised me how he’d managed to remain friends with my parents. They were so damn different.

  I was lucky. I knew this. A position waited for me. But the thought of returning, especially to a job set up by my family, to a profession I’d been expected to take, made nausea sit in my gut. Before coming out, I’d played the game, bowed down and gone through the motions. And while I wasn’t all the way out of the closet to the world at large—just to Carter and his inner circle—the idea of going back and living in the lie demanded of me was too much.

  I couldn’t do it anymore.

  And that left me clueless.

  Chapter Five

  DAVIS

  “Hey, Craig, can you unlock the door, please?”

  Craig, one of my part-timers, dutifully nodded and did just that. I smiled my thanks and turned back to the kitchen. Yesterday we’d had a delivery, and I’d ordered the ingredients to bake mini chocolate and espresso Bundt cakes. They were a weakness of mine, which was the reason I rarely made them. Far too often I ate a good third of what I’d made to sell, which was a bitch on the minimal effort I made at keeping fit and healthy. But still, they were freakin’ delicious and worth the time and energy to make. It also was apparent I wasn’t the only addict of caffeine and chocolate in this town either. Combining the two meant there’d be a bigger line at the counter by midmorning, or earlier if news got around.

  I cleaned the stainless steel counters after placing the rest of the cakes to cool. With the kitchen clean, I peered out of the large hatch into the filling shop front and smiled. This sleepy town was a far cry from where I’d imagined myself, but with how busy we were and the hours I managed to keep with the help of my staff, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Libby was worth it all.

  Watching Sandy at the coffee machine while Craig managed the till and juggled the orders, I considered it was probably time to extend my crew. Not only could we do with the extra help during peak times, but I wanted a few additional hours off. Every spare hour I had was dedicated to my girl. I loved every moment. Hell, just the thought of every new milestone made my heart clench with how fiercely I loved her. But, selfishly, it seemed opportune for some me time too.

  The digs from Tanner and Carter, even though well meant, had hit their mark. I was lonely. I felt shit for admitting it to myself. As a dad, it almost seemed impossible I could feel such a way, but my feelings were real and try as I might, I couldn’t ignore them anymore. While a casual hookup sounded great, ’cause hell, I needed to get my dick wet, my family life and “casual” just didn’t have the right ring to it. I’d only just started coming to terms with the idea of meeting someone, largely because of seeing what Tanner had created with Carter. A part of me wanted that. Okay, it was a large part, but finding anyone good enough to be in Libby’s life… shit, I couldn’t even begin to fathom how that would work.

  I headed out to the front to give the guys a hand to clear the morning rush. I greeted the many regulars and took over gathering the orders. Within an hour, the queue had died down, and I took the time to restock the front counter with fresh cakes and pastries. Sandy and Craig coped well for sure, and Phil was just as efficient, if not better. Between the four of us we managed, just, but looking at the chatting customers as they inhaled morning pastries, it was definitely time to advertise.

  I told Craig and Sandy just that. “Don’t suppose you know anyone who’s looking?”

  Craig scrunched his nose as if deep in thought. He was a good kid who had recently turned twenty. I knew I couldn’t sweet-talk him into staying with me forever, but after he’d dropped out of college and returned home, I was lucky that he still had no idea what his plans were. He shook his head. “Not at the moment. I can ask around though. What sort of hours are you looking at?”

  “Probably thirty or so. I need to come up with concrete plans and figure out shift changes with someone new on board.”

  “Sounds g
ood,” he said, before heading around the counter to clear a couple of tables.

  I made my way back to the kitchen to start some prep for tomorrow’s special. While we had a standard pastry and cake selection, I made an effort to ensure I mixed up the offerings with one or two different things on the menu. My customers seemed to like it. It also gave me an opportunity to be creative.

  It didn’t take me long to select a new recipe. I may have eaten a couple of chocolate and espresso Bundt cakes while making dough that I needed to set aside overnight for early morning prep. As I placed the dough in the refrigerator, I glanced into the shop’s front just as Carter walked in. He looked in my direction and gave a little wave before stepping to the counter. I grinned, finished organizing the refrigerator, and then headed out to say hi.

  I looked around. “By yourself?” It was unusual to see Carter without Tanner these days. They were stuck at the hip.

  “Just stopping for a coffee and meeting a friend, as it’s my early day to finish. Tanner’s out on a job.”

  “Cool. Have you already given your order?” I glanced over to see Sandy at the machine, wondering if the drink was for him.

  “Yeah. I’m all sorted, thank you.” He grinned. “If you’re due a break, feel free to join us.”

  I twisted my mouth in confusion. “Okay.” It seemed kind of odd he was inviting me for a break when he was meeting with someone. “Sure.”

  Carter’s face lit up with pleasure. “That’s great. What’ll you have? My treat.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “I’ll take care of it. Just go sit your ass down.”

  “You sure?”

  “’Course, now grab a table.”

  “Thanks.” He turned and headed toward one of the small booths. He tended to always be happy, but sometimes he’d get a glint as though he was extra happy about something. It was one of those sorts of moments.

  I shrugged and went to take over from Sandy. Carter had already ordered for his friend, so I finished them off and grabbed myself a black coffee. I carried the tray over to the booth and sat, my back to the door. “So, how’ve you been?”

  “Good. It was a quiet day, which was kind of nice. I’m relieved it’s Friday tomorrow though.”

  “You on call this weekend?”

  “Just Friday night,” he said. “Then the weekend’s free. How about you? You working this weekend?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. I have a whole weekend to spend with my girl.”

  Carter smiled. “Awesome. What are you planning? You going to stop by?”

  I nodded. “Probably. Libby needs some of her Uncle Tanner and Carter time.”

  Carter grinned. “Yeah, she does.” It was the truth. Tanner had been supporting me with the care of Libby from when she was just a couple of months old. It was the reason why he’d relocated in the first place, to be my support. When Carter had joined our small family, it hadn’t taken Libby long to win Carter over. Yeah, she had us all wrapped around her little finger. She also adored Carter and would immediately clamber to get to him whenever she saw him. “We can take her Saturday afternoon and night if you want?”

  I raised my brows and smiled. “Yeah?”

  “Sure we can. Take the night off. Perhaps go out.”

  I nodded, grateful for his suggestion, though I had no idea what I’d do with my time. “That would be great, thanks.”

  Carter seemed to read the barest hesitation I had. Not for the opportunity of a night off, but at the possibility of going out. “You know, it’s okay to head out, have fun. I even think Lauren’s heading out this weekend with some guys from work. She’ll be here soon so we can ask her.”

  Lauren was cute. She was also a bit on the eager side and could chat my head off. I’d met her a couple of times and had happily flirted with her, but it had all been harmless. There was no pull there, no greater attraction. I’d never hid my sexuality. I was a proud bisexual man. At times my openness had been met with confusion and sometimes downright contempt. Confusion I could always handle, as long as people had brain cells so could get their heads around the concept. Bisexuality was not as confusing as some people made it.

  What was confusing about being attracted to both men and women? I was attracted to people. It meant I could appreciate both sexes and love them equally. I’d yet to ever be in love. And when it happened, I had no idea who it would be with. But what I was 100 percent certain of was that for the right person, I would give my all.

  Just as I was about to say I’d think about it, the door opened and Carter waved over my head at, I assumed, Lauren. A moment later, she sat beside Carter and placed a loud kiss on his cheek.

  “Hey, good-looking.”

  He looked her way and grinned. “Hey, yourself. Good day?”

  She nodded, just as she made eye contact with me. “Hey, Davis. You joining us?” Her grin was wide.

  I smiled back. She really was cute, but cute was not what I was after. “I sure am. It’s good to take a break.”

  “It is that,” she replied. “And yes,” she faced Carter once more, “no dramas from my end. Just busy catching up with paperwork. I haven’t seen you all day.”

  Carter bobbed his head. “I know. Getting on top of things is good though.”

  “Yeah, I suppose. I just wish Denver would figure out what he was going to do about Scott’s position.”

  I perked up at the mention of Scott.

  Carter sighed. “I know. I get it though. I think he’s just hoping like I am that Scott will get his head together and come back.”

  Lauren’s face twisted.

  “What?” I asked, curious. “You don’t like the guy?”

  She shot a look at Carter, and I followed her gaze.

  “He knows everything,” he responded, without her having to voice her question.

  Ah, it all made sense. The whole “Scott is an asshole” debacle.

  “I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I’m not as forgiving as our friend over here,” she said to me.

  Carter rolled his eyes. “You need to move on. I’ve forgiven him, so that’s all that should matter.”

  “Meh.” Lauren shrugged, then laughed when Carter prodded her side. “I will, I will. And if he does come back, I’ll be on my best behavior.”

  I glanced over at Carter, who didn’t exactly look convinced.

  Carter and Lauren continued to chat about work, Tanner, and a whole heap of stuff that I admittedly zoned out from. While I made the odd grunt of approval or acknowledgment where I thought one was needed, my mind kept drifting to Scott. As much of a prize asshole as he had been, I kinda felt sorry for the guy, especially based on what I’d learned about him from Carter, which to be honest, was very little. But still, from my brief encounter with Scott, on top of his history, as well as him being a hermit—according to Carter—it was obvious he was hurting. And while I’d already tried to talk myself down and lose interest in the guy, it seemed I was full of shit. Not only did I spend too much time thinking about our kiss, him, what his issues were, but also, whenever I heard his damn name, my ears perked up in interest.

  Having completely lost all strands of their conversation, I was about to excuse myself and get back to work when I noticed their chatter had stopped and Carter was looking at me expectantly.

  “Did I miss something?”

  Carter rolled his eyes while Lauren snorted a laugh before she said, “I was inviting you to drinks Saturday night if you’re interested. Nothing wild or fancy obviously, since we’ll stay in town, but there’s a group of us meeting up at Wild Oak. It’s just been taken over and redone, I think.”

  “It has,” Carter interrupted. “Tanner did some work on it. He said it’s been done well and that the guys who own the place seem really nice.”

  “Cool,” Lauren responded. “So what do you think?” She looked at me. “There are others going too, so it’s not just guys from work. We won’t bore you to death with work chatter.” Lauren ended with a wide grin.
/>   “I already said we’d have Libby, so this works perfectly.” Carter’s grin was almost the mirror image of Lauren’s. I eyed them both, wondering why they were so wide-eyed. A more paranoid version of myself would have gone on red alert, but living in Kirkby didn’t exactly leave a lot to the imagination of wild nights and evil plots. Plus, heading out and socializing sounded like a good plan.

  “Sure,” I agreed, “that sounds great.”

  Lauren actually clapped her hands. “Yay!”

  I laughed. She was pretty damn cool, and I was kinda relieved I wasn’t attracted to her. She truly was a handful and too much for me to handle. Hell, I didn’t have the energy for her enthusiasm.

  “Fabulous,” she continued. “We’ll be at Wild Oak at eight-ish on Saturday. We should be there for at least an hour before we decide if we’re staying or moving on.”

  “Sounds good.” I stood and picked up their empty cups. “You want another?”

  “No thanks. I’m heading back. Tanner should be finishing soon.”

  I nodded and looked at Lauren.

  “Not for me. For a short day, it’s somehow been a manic one, even though we haven’t had a heap of patients. I’m heading home.”

  “Okay.” I smiled. “Well, I’ll see you on Saturday.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” she said.

  “And I’ll sort out the details with you about Libby later if that’s okay?” I said to Carter.

  He bobbed his head. “No problem.”

  “Thanks. See you both later.” I made my way to the kitchen and back to my day.

  Chapter Six

  SCOTT

  I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. I didn’t dare look at my face though. Sometimes, I just couldn’t stomach the sight. I was sure that was all levels of screwed up, but it was my truth. Instead, I focused on my T-shirt, wondering if it was too tight, wondering if anyone could tell from the way it clung to my toned body that I was… gay. I shook my head.