I've Got You Read online

  “Hey, I can leave.”

  Though, he stayed put, making no indication he planned on moving. He didn’t even shrug or twitch as he spoke.

  While solitude had been what I’d craved, I was smart enough to recognize that just maybe not being alone was a good thing. Being alone, I was discovering, was not helpful at all. All it did was give me too much time with my thoughts. And that had a habit of screwing with my head. While I’d sought the quiet, especially since my blowout with Carter a while back, I recognized how dangerous isolation could be. Loneliness was a slippery slope.

  I finally found my voice. “No need. I was just—”

  His eyes widened, as though encouraging me to continue.

  “—needing the quiet. It was all a bit much in there. But—” I released a heavy breath. “—perhaps it’s better to have some company, a conversation, you know?”

  Damn. I froze. Shit. Did he think I was flirting with him? Coming on to him? Asking him specifically for “company” in a whole different sense from plain conversation? Shit, was I? Was he gay? Fuck me dead—

  “Shit, breathe.”

  His deep voice startled me, enough that my eyes shot to his. He was sitting close to me, concern in his eyes. His hands clamped onto my forearms.

  “Breathe in.” He bobbed his head with a silent beat. “And out.”

  With my eyes now on his mouth, I did as directed. I got my lungs to work again.

  Chapter Three

  DAVIS

  I had no idea what the hell had just happened, but I was sure the man beside me had been about to pass out. He’d turned white and seemed on the cusp of hyperventilating.

  Still gripping his arms, I shook off the wayward thought of how strong they felt under my palms, instead concentrating on helping him breathe. Slowly, his color returned, yet I held on tightly, certain my touch was keeping him grounded.

  His stare, which had been pointedly fixed on my mouth as I breathed with him, dropped down. Rex was no longer leaning on him, having shifted when I’d first reached out to him. I wasn’t sure if his eyes remained open, but I felt his arms move, turn out slightly as his hands gripped my forearms so we were holding on to each other. I squeezed gently, not knowing what he needed, but hoping the gesture would continue to help him calm.

  When I’d headed out this evening, this wasn’t quite the position I’d expected to be in. Okay, hanging on to another man, or possibly a woman, wouldn’t have been a shitty way to end the evening, but being someone’s lifeline… definitely not my expectation.

  His breaths started to even out, and his fingers flexed on my skin. I was quite happy to stay this way a while longer. Touching firm muscles, having his appealing scent wrap around me, was surprisingly familiar, and hell, kinda nice, despite the weird situation and the poor guy’s meltdown.

  Still holding on, I dipped my head a little, leaning closer. “You good?” I kept my voice low, quiet, not wanting to break the moment or startle him.

  A slight, jerky nod was my answer.

  “Okay. There’s no rush.” And there really wasn’t. There was something about him, this random guy who was a sorta friend to Carter, that had made it easy to reach out and comfort him. He was attractive, sure, with short, dark brown hair that was a little messy, possibly from running his fingers through it one too many times, plus he had the prettiest eyes I’d ever seen on a man or woman. But there was something deeper there too. He seemed lost.

  He’d mentioned being alone, and damn if I hadn’t felt the sadness roll of him in waves. With the manic life I had, not only with my daughter but with my coffee shop, life was complicated enough. The last thing I needed was a lost soul complicating my shit even more. But still, I’d reached out to him and liked the feel of our connection.

  That seemed all levels of screwed up and dangerous. But still, I held on.

  Smoothing my right thumb over his left arm, I rubbed soft circles on his skin. Goose bumps sprung up immediately, creating a new path for my thumb. I had no intention of releasing him yet. He took a deep breath before moving his head from side to side, as if stretching his neck. A couple of cracks followed. I considered releasing one arm to place on the back of his neck but thought better of it. The gesture seemed just a little too forward, too familiar.

  “Better?” I dared to ask.

  This time, he lifted his head, his eyes connecting with mine instantly. With my head still lowered, our faces were close, too close for strangers, but considering his near meltdown, it seemed we were beyond that level of formality.

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  His face was now in line with mine, giving me the opportunity to search his features. His color seemed to have returned, which was tricky to tell in the poor light, but he no longer looked like a ghost. His eyes were wide though, almost frozen. Not quite sure if he was terrified, confused, or hell, for all I knew this could have been his usual expression, I smiled, trying to reassure him.

  “You had me scar—”

  He crushed his mouth to mine. While his eyes were now closed, mine were wide open as I oomphed in surprise. His kiss was rough, desperate, almost pleading as his lips worked mine, encouraging me to react. Warm lips and wet tongue, both tasting of beer and mint, continued their invasion. This guy was starving for contact, and damn if I didn’t begin to reciprocate. I closed my eyes, our hands still gripping each other, and opened for him.

  I allowed him to control the kiss for a few beats until I took over, needing to calm the pace and ease the desperation that clawed so close to the surface. Our lips came together with ease, moving together as though we’d practiced a hundred times. Darting my tongue out for a quick taste, I touched his and stroked gently, dragging a groan from the both of us. While we were no longer frantic, there was still urgency in our clash of lips and tongue, a fervor there I wasn’t sure I’d ever experienced before.

  Needing more, I loosened my left hand and reached for his face. The moment my fingers touched his cheek, he froze. Barely a second slipped by before he yanked himself back, almost falling off the chair. I reached out to him, but he was up and to the door without a backward glance.

  Staring wide-eyed at the empty space before me, I could only blink as he bolted into the kitchen, and I imagined, straight out of the house.

  What the hell just happened? I was still sitting in the same spot fifteen minutes later when Tanner found me. The kiss, his escape, his goddamn panic…. It all played through my head on a loop. The worst of it all: I still didn’t know the guy’s name.

  “Hey,” Tanner called.

  I made to stand, asking, “Libby?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “She’s fast asleep, not a peep.”

  I nodded my thanks and eased back onto the lounger.

  Rex ambling over to Tanner had me smiling. He was such a great, albeit huge dog. I’d been enjoying my quiet time with him earlier, but he’d abandoned me so he could get fussed over by the mystery guy—who I could still taste on my lips.

  “Whatcha doing?” Tanner sat next to me, and I shrugged noncommittally.

  “Just having a beer and some quiet time.”

  “Right.” His tone held humor, enough to drag my attention to his amused face. He grinned over at me.

  “What?” I lifted my beer.

  “Don’t what me. I saw you out here playing kissy with Dr. Dickwad.”

  Thankfully I’d not taken a drink from the beer bottle I held to my mouth. “What the fuck? Dr. Dickwad?” I asked in confusion. “And you were what, spying on me?”

  He simply shrugged, not looking at all ashamed. Of course, I had no doubt I was completely overexaggerating and that his stealth-like skills were not being put to use on me, but still.

  He remained silent, wearing that simple, annoying smirk of his that he got sometimes. Tanner and I had been friends forever, so I knew pretty much every look, smirk, and gesture. And at the moment, while he wanted to tease and laugh, there was something else lurking in his eyes.

  “What?�
� I sighed the question this time, rather than spitting it out in frustration. Then it hit me. Dr. Dickwad. Hell no. I groaned, my shoulders dipping in defeat. “That was the closeted vet who did a number on Carter.” It wasn’t a question. “Doing a number” was the polite way of saying the asshole gave Carter hell and made his life a misery. He almost managed to drive him out of the practice before he came out—to Carter, of all people.

  None of us had seen it coming, especially not Scott—that was the guy’s name—from the looks of it.

  “Oh shit.”

  “Uh-huh,” Tanner added unhelpfully.

  “Shit, do you think I was his first kiss with another man?” Out of all the things playing out in my head—remembering the brutal, sexy kiss, the smoothness of his cheekbones, the desperation in his eyes, let alone getting started on the crap he’d pulled with Carter—it surprised Tanner as much as me that I asked that question first.

  “For real?”

  “He was good, a natural,” I said, trying to be as casual as possible.

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Fuck no.”

  “What, are you the cockblock police, the closet patrol, out there to protect virgin asses from going public?” I quirked my brow, though I knew he wasn’t fooled. The reality was I was affected. The short time with Scott had left its mark, and while I knew and had previously admitted to myself that was not a good thing, my interest was piqued. Knowing he was Dr. Dickwad should have changed all that for me. But it didn’t.

  Shaking his head in exasperation, Tanner swiped his hand through his hair. “That guy has issues to rival… fuck… whatever has big issues.”

  “Miley Cyrus?” I offered helpfully.

  He tilted his head at me and rolled his eyes. “One, you’re showing your damn age. Two, the last thing you need is to get entangled with his bullshit. And there’s no way he’s good enough to be anywhere near Libby.”

  I smiled at Tanner and the mention of my daughter. While I was the only blood relative in Libby’s life, Tanner was her uncle in every way that mattered, and Carter too, now. His fierceness to protect was sappy sweet, and I’d call him out for it another time. Instead, I stood and patted him on the back. “Come on. It’s all fine. You saw how quickly he hightailed it out of here. While the mini-make-out session was kinda nice”—lie, it was so goddamn hot that I would store it away for spank bank material—“it’s not going to happen again. I know this town is small, but hell, I’ve never laid eyes on the dude before tonight”—and I would have remembered—“so I doubt we’ll even cross paths again.”

  Tanner looked up at me. He appeared as uncertain as I was sure I sounded, but he let me have it and kept his mouth shut. That was until we got back in the house. “Carter, holy shit, you’ll never guess who….”

  Chapter Four

  SCOTT

  It had been three days since I’d left my house. I was too terrified to step outside. My fear was irrational, but it was steeped in such visceral anxiety and paranoia that I couldn’t be anything but terrified. Rationally, I knew that even if anyone had seen me kiss another guy, it would have only been someone at Carter’s house, who also was an openly gay man living with his boyfriend. And while there were women and straight couples at the party, there were also other gay men. It was unlikely anyone would take offense to seeing two men kissing, but still, fear was not always rational.

  I was living just a few doors down from Carter’s place, still staying at my godfather’s while he was off exploring the world in his early retirement. I’d taken to hiding out since the major bullshit I’d caused Carter a couple or so months earlier. I’d quit the practice—well, as much as I could. My godfather, Denver, had officially rejected my resignation—it was his practice—so the position was mine if I still wanted it. I supposed I should have headed back east, back to my hometown, but after finally admitting to myself and out loud that I was gay, there was a pull to stay.

  If I headed back, without a doubt I would have made up shit about why things hadn’t worked out and gone back to living the same lie I had been since I was fourteen and realized that I’d wanted to kiss Jason, my sister’s then-boyfriend. The thought of revisiting that life pushed me to not jump in my car.

  But every day I had to ask myself what my plan was. The truth was, beyond getting up and feeding and watering myself, I had none. Carter, for all his interference and bizarre niceness, had both forgiven me and taken pity on me. That was still a head fuck. I still expected Tanner to kick my ass at any point. I was confident he was waiting for me to say one wrong thing, give one shitty look, and he’d be all over me and beat my sorry self.

  Carter, though, was trying his hardest to take me under his wing and get me to return to the veterinary clinic. I couldn’t face it.

  I’d just switched off the shower when I heard the doorbell ring. With a deep sigh, I took my time drying off, hoping Carter would leave. There was no one else it could be. Yanking on my clothes, I closed my eyes and waited for the bell to go again. It did. Carter was not a guy to give up easily. It made him painfully endearing. I wanted to hate the guy. Hell, I had for so long. He was everything I craved to be but was too terrified to become. When I looked at him, it was like a gut-wrenching taunt dangling in front of me, a version of what my life could have been. But despite his nagging and his interference, I liked the man. And who was I kidding? He was the only sorta friend I had. I would be a fool to push that away.

  Once down the staircase, I pulled the door open just as Carter’s finger pressed once more on the button. He jerked his head in my direction and smiled.

  “Hey, stranger,” he greeted.

  “Hey.” I backed away from the door and headed to the kitchen, leaving him to let himself in. “Coffee?” Despite my asshole ways, I could be civil when I wanted to be.

  “Sounds good.” He perched on a stool at the kitchen counter. “I haven’t seen much movement in the last couple of days.”

  “Stalker much,” I grumbled.

  “Your car hasn’t even moved,” he continued, completely ignoring me. “What’s up?”

  I placed a pod of the coffee he liked in the machine, then switched it on. “Nothing.” I kept my back to him, my focus on the coffee machine.

  “So nothing to do with Davis.”

  I froze, understanding what he was referring to. Davis. That was who the guy was? Shit, Tanner’s best friend. Just kill me now. I kept silent, not trusting my voice.

  “You know it’s okay, right?”

  His coffee finished, I picked up his mug and placed it in front of him. “It is? How’d you figure?” I backed away and leaned against the counter to face him. A ball of something I was all too familiar with rolled in my stomach. Dread. Despair. I pointedly ignored the sweat coating the palms of my hands as I gripped the edge of the counter.

  Carter tilted his head as if studying me. I had no idea what he saw, but I could read pity pretty damn easily. My gut tightened at the thought. I didn’t need anyone’s pity. I was Scott fucking Anderson. I’d spent my life being on top of the game, partying hard, being the best in my field, so what if part of it was a lie?

  “I don’t need your pity, Carter. If that’s all you’re offering, you know where the door is.” My jaw was tense, and I was certain I’d have jaw ache from grinding my teeth so damn hard.

  “Hey.” He raised his hands. “No pity here.”

  I raised my brows.

  “Seriously.” He sighed. “Tanner told me not to say anything to you.”

  I snorted. “And when do you ever listen to anything Tanner tells you to do?”

  With a grin, Carter lifted his drink to his mouth and said, “Occasionally, I do, but it’s good keeping him on his toes, and hell, he’s even hotter when he gets mad at me,” before taking a sip.

  I was proud that I didn’t blush. Over the past couple of months of Carter’s frequent visits, I’d always been in awe of how open he was about his relationship with Tanner, which was ridiculous. Logically
I was well aware he had every right to be open and himself, but in a world of forced repression, the concept still made me pause.

  At first, I’d thought he was oversharing to get a reaction from me, pushing me to respond in some way by rubbing his relationship in my face. Yeah, I could be a self-absorbed dick when I wanted to be. It didn’t take me long to realize he was a loved-up fool with no filter. He always gushed over Tanner. And while in the early days I blushed so hard that I had to escape the room quickly, I’d finally reached a place where talking about two guys together naturally and openly had become the norm. I didn’t think I’d ever be as open and understanding about being in a gay relationship as Carter was, let alone have such awareness and compassion. The thought still threatened to blow my mind when I spent too much time letting it fill my head.

  Quickly getting back on track—Carter, I’d discovered, liked to push my sorry ass—he continued. “Tanner said there was full-on open-mouthed action going on outside. Davis”—I gulped, my hands tensing at the mention of Davis’s name—“won’t tell me anything. But he does keep smiling.”

  My heart leaped, my stomach uncoiling and filling with something highly different.

  “He didn’t say anything?” I tried to sound casual but knew the slight pitch in my voice meant Carter wouldn’t buy it.

  “Nope. Not to me anyway, and Tanner’s being annoyingly tight-lipped, but I have my ways of getting it out of him if you want me to find out.” He wriggled his brows, and despite the tension thrumming through me, a laugh escaped me.

  Carter grinned big and wide. Yeah, it was rare I laughed these days, and I knew Carter enjoyed it when he managed to break through the walls I’d erected around myself. He took it as a personal triumph. Of course, Carter being Carter had told me as much. It was as refreshing as it was annoying—his honesty and lack of filter.