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  “Love you too.” She grinned up at him and then turned to say goodbye to Michelle. I took the time to say goodbye to my brother-in-law and the few stragglers, then made my way out to my dad’s ute.

  It didn’t take long to travel the few kilometres to Dad and Michelle’s place. While it was dark, so I couldn’t see the familiar sight of home, warmth settled in my chest as we bounced down the long driveway to the main house. There were a few more potholes, but it still felt the same. I released a happy sigh, not quite surprised that it felt good to be home after such a long time, more like content.

  I’d loved spending time in the UK. It was pretty ideal; not only hopping over to so many amazing countries in Europe, but for such a small island, there seemed something different to see every time I stepped away from the office. I’d made it my mission to explore and see as much of Europe as I could, knowing it was an opportunity I’d be a fool to pass up on. The reality was that I couldn’t imagine being away from home forever, and seeing my family, my friends, and the town I loved sparked a longing in my gut that took me unawares.

  I pushed the feeling aside as I stepped outside. Lights filtered from the large stables in the distance. Maybe Zak hadn’t come up with a bullshit excuse after all.

  “I best head over and check everything is all right.” Dad’s deep voice tore my gaze away. “Will you help Michelle with the leftovers?”

  I bobbed my head. “Of course.”

  Dad gave me a wink and pressed a quick kiss on Michelle’s cheek. “I’ll be quick.”

  The sound of his footsteps on gravel accompanied him. My gaze followed for a few seconds before I turned to Michelle and smiled. “Best get these inside.” I tilted my head towards the boot load of food.

  She wedged the flyscreen door open as I passed her by with an armful of food. “Just pop them on the kitchen counter, and I’ll get everything sorted.”

  “No worries.” I switched the light on with my elbow and was greeted by the familiar kitchen. The large oak table still filled the eating area just off the side of the huge kitchen. A pile of fruit sat in the bowl, and one section of the table was covered in paperwork. It was pretty much the exact image I’d left with.

  “I’ll throw a plate together for Zak. He must be hungry and exhausted.”

  I glanced over at Michelle. She was already organising everything, which she did amazingly well. From the moment I’d first met her when I’d been barely a teen, she’d won us all pretty much over with her ability to take charge and sort us all out. It helped that she cooked well and gave the best of hugs. Lord knew I’d made up for years of being motherless by taking advantage of every single one.

  My dad had won the damn lotto when she’d agreed to marry him and take us on. I had zero idea how he’d managed it, but I was grateful he had.

  “I just need to grab my bag out of the car, then I’ll give you a hand.”

  “Perfect,” she answered. “Take it right up to your room. Your dad will only trip over it else. I swear that man doesn’t look where he’s going half of the time.”

  A snort left my mouth, and I grinned. “Some things never change, right?”

  Michelle paused what she was doing and turned her focus solely on me. With a tilt of her head, she appeared to take me in a moment before speaking. “Right.” She nodded. “And sometimes they change for the better, even the people right in front of us, filling up our lives.”

  I quirked a brow. Was she saying I’d changed? Well, if so, at least it seemed for the good, but to be honest, I was sure I was the same kid who’d left five years ago. Yeah, older, and I hoped a little wiser, but still….

  “When you’ve finished, you can take this out to Zak for me. Maybe seeing you will make him stop for half an hour and actually take a break and eat.”

  I worked hard to swallow softly, not only at the mention of his name but at the pointed look my stepmum gave me. With a small smile and a forced laugh, I replied, “Well, there’s one guy who I’m sure will never change.” From the years of knowing him, from growing up and becoming a man around him, the only changes I’d seen in the guy were a result of my infatuation.

  Michelle pursed her lips and gave a short nod. “A lot can happen in five years, Leo. Even grown men can make mistakes. Hell, some can even do so and admit they were wrong.” She gave a chin lift towards the door. “Go on, get to it. This’ll be ready in ten minutes.”

  I backed out of the room, my mind struggling to catch up. It was not like Michelle to talk in riddles, so her weird comments threatened to addle my jet-lagged brain. Admittedly, it had been a while since I’d seen her and Dad, but we did FaceTime regularly. I could only assume I was reading into something that wasn’t there, no doubt hypersensitive about Zak being just a short distance away and knowing in ten minutes I’d be seeing him again.

  With that thought driving me forward, I dragged my feet to get my bag inside. No one said excitement couldn’t be trumped by fear. And between the two emotions, I was still struggling to figure out exactly how to approach the man who’d stolen my heart so many years ago.

  Chapter Three

  Armed with a plate of chicken, potato salad, and a hunk of bread, I met Dad at the door of the stables just as he was heading out. “Hey, all okay?”

  He greeted me with a pat on the shoulder and a wide smile. “She seems to have settled. Zak’s just getting ready to leave too.” He glanced down at the covered plate. Shaking his head, he chuckled. “You know, I lost count how many times you both would eat out here rather than at the table.”

  A smile curled my lips. It was the truth. When Zak was knee-deep in training or dealing with something that needed his attention, I’d been the first to race to the main house to get us food to eat together. Not only had I wanted to spend time with Zak, the truth was, in my naïve way, I’d wanted to take care of him too. And as a teenager, throwing together plates of food had been pretty much all I’d been able to manage.

  “It’s so good that you’re home, son.” After a wink, he headed past me. “I’ll leave the veranda light on, and there’s beer in the fridge,” he called as he ventured closer to the house.

  I smirked. “Thanks, Dad.”

  His hand lifted and he gave a small wave as he carried on walking. When he was firmly out of earshot, I faced the stable door and took a deep breath before I went inside.

  I found him sitting on a small stool, beer in hand and looking directly at me. After the slightest of hesitations, I continued forward. While a part of me considered being a coward and hovering at the door, Zak deserved more than that. The closer I got, the more I struggled not to stumble. Still handsome, still built with a body I’d fantasised over countless nights, and still carrying that fierce gaze with his grey-green eyes that I was sure could see into my soul.

  Around this guy, I’d always been the same—dreaming up descriptions on the cusp of damn poetry. Sometimes I wondered how I’d survived for so many years without him catching on to the depth of my feelings, and sometimes I wondered what it would have been like if I’d ever told him the truth. Or certainly done so without me using my words as a weapon.

  I shook the thoughts away. Yeah, he still affected me. I snorted internally as he continued to watch me in silence, while I’d stopped just a few short metres away. In truth, affected didn’t even come close. A small, ridiculous part of me had hoped he’d look like shit and hadn’t weathered well over the years. From what I saw of the man before me, he was travelling through his thirties somewhat spectacularly.

  When his brow pitched high, I realised I’d been standing before him for Christ knew how long like a damn idiot. Awkwardness had charged into the room and ran around laughing its arse off at me. Not quite the way I’d planned for this to go, but it seemed fitting.

  “Hey,” I managed, my voice surprisingly steady. “So I have food for you.” I held out the plate like an offering, hoping he’d do something beyond staring at me with his pretty eyes. When he remained silent, giving me absolutely nothing, I
gnawed at the inside of my lip. I took a step forward and swung my gaze to the side where there was another small stool. “I’ll just leave it here.” Placing it down, I didn’t dare risk a glance in his direction, especially considering our closeness.

  Jesus, I hated this.

  I could barely remember a time growing up without Zak being in the picture, and despite being so close to him, the closest I’d been in five years, I’d never felt further away. I straightened and took a step back. Aware I was going to make my mouth bleed with how damn hard I was worrying it, I needed to take action. To do that, I had to admit what a dick I’d been, and grovel—a lot.

  With a sweep of my hand over my hair, I went ahead and blurted out the sorry that should have happened five years ago. “I fucked up.” There was a slight flaring of his eyes. It wasn’t a lot, but it was some sort of reaction at least. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have….” I exhaled heavily, hating myself for being a coward and not doing this sooner. “I shouldn’t have ever put you in that situation. I shouldn’t have caused so much shit then run off.”

  My gaze followed his thumb as he brushed it across his lips a moment before he leaned forward, eyes still on me, and propped his elbows on his legs.

  “And I should have called up straight away and tried to make it right, apologised.” I cleared my throat, determined to not look away. “I’m sorry I screwed up and left like I did.” I wanted to say I wished I could take it back, but that wouldn’t have quite been the truth. I wanted to say I wished we could go back to being how we were, friends, but again, that was bullshit too. In the few moments I’d stood in front of him, I knew with absolute certainty that my feelings for the quiet cowboy in front of me hadn’t changed. And being in love with a man who’d never so much as looked at me in a way beyond that of a big brother or mentor was a huge kick in the junk.

  The silence was broken by a soft whinnying. I looked over in relief and saw the young mare, her stomach round and firm. “Is she okay?” I took the opportunity to change the subject, hoping he’d give me this. I pushed my hands in my pockets, still focusing on the pregnant mare. My hands tucked away, I no longer had to fear Zak seeing how shaken I was. I was humiliated enough as it was.

  The stool creaked, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zak move. Keeping my body as relaxed as possible, I was aware of every step he took. When he finally stopped, he was by my side, looking in the direction of the horse he’d been caring for.

  “She’ll be okay.” His nod was slight, but I still saw it. “And we’ll get this figured out too.”

  When I angled my head in his direction, his gaze was already turned my way. “We will?” Was he really giving me this?

  He tilted his head to the side, a casual move that was familiar and sent a rush of heat to my stomach. “I still have it.”

  My eyes widened, understanding heating my cheeks. If there was ever a time for the earth to open up and select a victim, now would have been perfect. I wasn’t that lucky. I shook my head. “Shit, I’m so so—”

  “I know you are.” He turned slightly and indicated I should follow him. I did so without question. He collected his plate of food, turned the large fans to a lower setting, and switched off the lights. We made our way towards his cottage, the bright moon guiding our way. Once there, he set his plate down on the outside table and headed towards the small building to the side, which he’d always used for projects.

  The lights sprung to life a few moments after he hit the switch. Once my eyes adjusted, they jumped wide open as they landed on the machine off to the right. Still sleek, black, and sexy as hell stood his 1965 Royal Enfield. The biggest relief that sent shame thrumming through me was that it was intact. “How did you…?”

  A grin stretched his mouth wide. “It took some doing. I was able to get a lot fixed, but a few parts took almost a year to track down to replace.”

  My eyes bounced between the bike I’d taken a bat to the night I’d left town and the man before me. Why the hell he hadn’t kicked my arse, I had no idea. I was grateful as hell. While I could hold my own at the gym and bench press a mean weight, his muscles were the product of hard work on the property, and there was no doubt in my mind he could put me to the ground.

  “She’s beautiful.”

  He nodded and looked my way. “She is that. Perfect, in fact.”

  I made a move to step closer but hesitated. I had zero right. This piece of engineering was more than a bike, and considering I’d set out to destroy it five years ago in a pathetic hissy fit of rage, it was a wonder he’d let me in the same damn room. Sickness churned my gut.

  “You all right there?” he asked.

  I nodded, not able to make eye contact in case I spewed.

  “Shit, Leo, you’ve gone white as a damn ghost. You need to sit down or something?”

  I snorted a humourless laugh. The apology was once again on the tip of my tongue, but I forced it away. Twisting my lips, I huffed out a breath through my nostrils. “Can I look at it properly?”

  My eyes connected with his. As he slowly perused my features, a flicker of something appeared in his eyes. Before I could work out what exactly, he gave me a small nod. “Yep.”

  I hesitated a moment, waiting for a jab, a barb of sarcasm, a warning perhaps, but nothing came. I walked towards the bike, realising I should have known better. Zak had never been cruel, never used his words or his fists to unleash his disappointment or annoyance. Truth be told, all those years ago when I’d reacted, I’d done so not only in spite with jealousy spurring me on and my aching heart guiding me, but to egg him on, hoping for a reaction of some sort.

  I closed my eyes, remembering the only reaction I received. A single look of abject disappointment. Running after that had been easy. It was a look that had hit me harder than any fist or cruel word.

  “She looks incredible.” The paint gleamed, even in the dull light coming from the bare overhead bulbs. “Does she start?”

  Zak’s heat was beside me a moment later. “She sure does. Not roadworthy yet, but not far off. We can start her tomorrow if you want, take her out on the concrete pad.” His shoulder brushed mine, and I pressed my lips together, fighting my body’s reaction to the touch and the proximity.

  I had not returned home for this, to rekindle the crush I’d attempted to erase from my system over the past five years. Inwardly, I rolled my eyes at myself. I was 100 percent bullshitting myself. Something I noticed I was doing a lot in the few hours I’d been home. I’d never fully opened myself up to love again, not after years of loving the man by my side, and not after his painful rejection.

  “You’d do that?” I didn’t risk a glance at Zak as I reached out and stroked the tank. “You don’t mind, not too busy?”

  His deep voice was gruff and closer than I expected, making me jump. Fuck. “Not too busy when we’ve five years of catching up to do, Leo. You know me better than that.”

  I turned in his direction. My eyes widened when I discovered just how close he’d leaned in to speak to me. With my heart hammering in my chest, it was difficult to focus on anything beyond the feel of his warm breath brushing against my skin. Confusion battled the hit of lust racing through my veins and pooling in my gut. “I—” I attempted, but had to clear my damn throat as it threatened to close. “Yeah, I suppose I do.”

  His face gave nothing away as he stepped back. “Right, I best go eat before the possums get to it.” Zak’s lips quirked, and I smiled back in response.

  “Yeah, okay, sure.” Turning away from the bike, I willed myself to get it together. After all, Zak had given me a free pass. He hadn’t made me grovel, nor had he brushed me aside. I was grateful, sure, but still, his forgiveness hummed of indifference, and damn if that didn’t sting. The door creaked as he pushed it wide, allowing me to step into the still night. “I’ll see what help Dad needs from me in the morning, and then we’ll catch up.” With forced casualness, I nodded and then walked away. “Night,” I offered, waving my hand above my head as I made
my way back to the main house.

  “Night, Leo,” trailed behind me. “Sleep well.”

  I quietly groaned. I doubted I’d be sleeping a wink until I left in a couple of weeks.

  Chapter Four

  Heat slammed down on me, hard and unforgiving. Lifting my Akubra, I welcomed the slight relief the stir of air provided. England had destroyed me. Hot days like these had been par for the course growing up, but five years of more grey skies than not had apparently destroyed my ability to survive and get on with the harsh demands of Australia. I swiped my brow and looked over at the large stables just a short walk away. Sod it. It had to be done.

  I placed the fence ties and grips in the small bucket and stashed them next to one of the posts of the fence I was repairing. After making sure the bucket wouldn’t topple, I started for the stables. There were two clouds in the sky, both far off in the distance and nowhere near the unrelenting sun. Like so many days, they’d offer no respite. But looking around my dad’s farm, I was once again relieved to see so much welcome green grass. They’d had good rain at the beginning of summer, allowing for lush paddocks and full water tanks. It didn’t mean anyone was able to relax, though. With autumn close by, there’d be dry spells and threats of drought on the horizon. But still, for the time being, everyone would be breathing a little easier.

  As soon as my feet hit shade, I exhaled in relief. I removed my hat and placed it on the hook off to the right en route to the large barrel I hoped to God was still set up to the side. Seeing the full barrel, the water glistening and still, I grinned and unbuttoned the top two buttons of my shirt before pulling the damp material over my head. I set the shirt to the side and unceremoniously dunked my head in deep, allowing my neck to go under and my shoulders to touch the cool liquid.

  My skin felt immediately refreshed, and I held my breath a few beats longer before coming up for air. Sweeping my dripping hair off my face, I cricked my neck from left to right. An appreciative groan escaped me when my vertebrae clicked and the tension eased a little. I needed to get my arse back into a farm-fit state, else there was no way I’d survive my time at home. I knew the only way to do so was to jump in and get my hands dirty. That and to make sure I used hot water when showering and took advantage of the ice machine my dad had.